Westview Church

New Year's Day: the day we all decide to be better people, the day we think of all the ways we have failed over the last year, and we promise ourselves that we will do better.

I know I was confused and disappointed as I looked back over my behaviour in 2010. I was disappointed in how I hadn't cared for my husband, of the impatience and unkindness I displayed to my children, of the self-centeredness that ruled my friendships, of the lack of love I displayed for the lost, of the indifference in Bible reading.

The more I reflected on my behaviour, the more condemned I felt. So I resolutely decided that I would change this next year, I would love everyone, I wouldn't be jealous of anything, I would read through my Bible and pray every day, and I would look to serve my neighbours. My behaviour had been unacceptable, and it had to change. The more that I contemplated my own failures; the more I started sinking deeper and deep into a pit of despondency.

So, to distract myself from this turmoil I then went to my dear friend Twitter, and there I read this, "Feel like a jerk? Take heart, you're a lot worse than you think. Good thing Jesus paid the whole bill. Happy New Year." I had forgotten the truth about myself and the truth about my Saviour. I thought I had been brutally honest about myself, but the truth was that I had actually gone really easy on myself. I was only recounting sins that had affected others, and not even thinking about the inner musings of my heart. I had also thought well enough of myself, that I believed all I had to do was promise myself to be better, and that would make me change. I also thought of the shock and disappointment I felt over my behaviour, if I really believed what the Bible said about me I would never be shocked at my sin. I had started off 2011 with a crazy mixture of thought, I'm not good enough, I can make myself better, I know better and I am better than I acted this past year. I was deep in self-pride and self-condemnation all at the same time; I had totally lost sight of the good news.

The good news is that I am much worse than I think, but I am totally accepted before God. This changed my self-condemnation to hope. There is grace promised for every day. There is a guarantee that I will be completely blameless before Him. There is a throne of grace that is promised to me, I am commanded to come boldly to this throne of grace so that I can find help. There is absolutely no wrath left for me, no wrath for my sins. Jesus Christ has taken my punishment for how I acted in 2010. What good news!!!!

The amazing part is it doesn't stop there, not only has he taken my punishment, he has given me his perfect record. The Father looks at me and sees how his Son always loved, always served, always lived for others, and always obeyed the Father. What unspeakable joy and hope this brings! It doesn't stop there either; all of my failures that lie before me are paid for too. I can look at the year ahead and I can know that I will fail in all the same ways I did this past year and this thought doesn't make me despair because all those sins and failures are paid for too. 

So now I don't have to turn to self-improvement. I don't have to turn to self-condemnation. I can turn and run whole-heartedly to my Father who has forgiven me. I can turn to Jesus who is praying for me and who understands my every weakness. I can turn to the Holy Spirit whose job is to help me love Jesus more and love myself less. I have hope! I have a Saviour! I have all I need for this new year. When I fail I don't have to wait for January 1st to come around again to start over because, "The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ‘The LORD is my portion,’ says my soul, ‘therefore I will hope in him.’” (Lamentations 3:22-24)